I am guilty of becoming attached to people rather quickly.  Call it being gullible, stupid or what have you, I do this quite often.  I have a few chats or talks with someone, get comfortable with them, and I place them in my friendship garden.  Are they really my friends?  No, not really.  And I am learning this as I get older.  My friendship garden is large and vast; full of extremely close friends and casual aquaintances.  But if I like you, you will find yourself in my friendship garden.

It's a good place to be and I love my garden.  It's a comforting and nourishing place to dwell and I have a special place for all who enter.  Some are strong and tall, like an oak tree; others like delicate leaves on a tender herb.  There are some who provide strength and nourishment to my soul, just like a faithful fruit tree.  Then, there are those who require more care and tending from me with little in return, similar to a fussy rose bush.

The common thread that all of these friends and aquaintances have is that they make me happy.  They bring a smile to my face and, somehow, make me a better person.  They all have their part, no matter how small.  When I stand back at a distance and admire my Friendship Garden, they all come together to create a beautiful presence.

Unfortunately, because I am so willing to let most anyone into my garden, I have found as I get older that I have to occasionally weed the garden I love so much.   Nobody likes to weed gardens...well, no one I know of anyway.  I am no exception to this rule.  I absolutely despise weeding real gardens & friendship gardens.  It's daunting, tedious, painful at times, & leaves you feeling rather dirty.  Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell a weed from a plant you want to keep.  It is a job that must be done in order for a garden to remain healthy.  For if I do not weed my garden on occasion, these rogue, incompatible plants will overtake the tranquility. 

Contrary to popular belief, weeds are not necessarily a bad thing.  When I was a child, I used to go green picking with my grandmother.  We would roam around the fields and meadows and pick dandelions, poke leaves, lamb's quarter, and milkweed.  When cooked correctly, these "weeds" were quite delicious and very good for you, nutritionally.  Weeds have their place in life, but not in a cultivated garden.  Just because I remove weeds from my friendship garden doesn't mean that these people are awful or bad people.  They, quite simply, are not compatible with myself.  A weed is only in the eye of the beholder and one person's weed is another person's delicacy or wildflower.

I am finding out as I approach middle age that life is too short to try and make everyone happy.  I used to worry about weeding my garden because I, obviously, didn't want to hurt people's feelings.  I am discovering that this is not healthy for me or for them.  I would rather enjoy my garden without seeing a weed strangle out something I truly find nourishing or beautiful.  I would prefer that weed be in the environment in which it belongs...bringing pleasure to someone who wouldn't classify them as such.

We are all lovely flowers in someone's friendship garden.  Likewise, we are more than likely all a weed in someone else's garden.  Don't be afraid to remove the weeds that bring nothing but turmoil or ugliness into your life.   Similarly, on occasion, add an unexpected variety that you generally would overlook for something more familiar.  You may be pleasantly surprised at what blossoms and grows!

~Alice~

Is this your hint for me to weed my garden and stop complaining about my weeds, then go out and find some new flowers to plant? I'm awful at socializing!!!

Nah, Stacie...it has everything to do with some recent occurences in my life. Some "weedings." :-(

We sound so much alike in that aspect. I cannot tell you how many weeds I have allowed to be in my "garden" and then later on I have to weed them out.

I love this post, it so honest and right to the point.

I only have three really good friends and one of them is not even my country.

Have a great weekend!!

Alice, I especially liked the point you made that weeds in your friendship garden aren't necessarily bad, just incompatible. That makes sense. :-)

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