Have you ever had a good day intermingled with lots and lots of bad?  That is what I had today.  Everything started out normally when I got the kids ready and headed off to church.  I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. baking banana nut muffins and making homemade potato salad for the church picnic.  I was tired, but ready to start the day with a spring in my step.  All the kids seemed ok...

We got to Sunday school and settled in for a good lesson.  Will always comes with me as he is too young, yet, for his own class.  He toddles over to me and gets up on my lap.  All at once....

 

BLAHHHH!

Young Master Will puked all over himself and me.  I'm not talking a little spot of spit-up...oh no....we are talking puke.  Like excorcist puke.  Like head spinning in circles, curdled milk baby puke all over my shirt, slacks, him, & the carpeted floor.  Enter the church ladies...

Church ladies sprinting around with wet paper towels and a single wet kitchen towel.  None of it was going to touch the volcanic eruption that was Will.  I just sat, staring at Will, feeling the warm, wet curdled milk soaking through my black outfit.  I am the mother of three children and this certainly was not the first time I have encountered puke.  However, I was just speechless and didn't know where to start...it was truly awful.  I wanted to cry.

I got up quietly and apologized to everyone attempting to eat their muffins I had baked, and ran into the kitchen.  I used the only kitchen towel to try and salvage our clothing, to no avail.  I found a mop bucket and filled it with Mr. Clean water and went back into the room to try and clean up the mess on the carpet.  I then stood up, holding Will dressed only in a diaper, and announced I was going to go to the store to get new clothes. 

Thank God for Patricia.  Patricia is a mom-type figure to me here locally and she jumped into action.  She told me to get into my van and she would take me to her house and let me rinse out the clothes and dry them in her drier.  You see, I live about 11 or 12 miles from church, so I couldn't just run home.  She showed me around her utility room, handed me a large button up shirt to try to put on while I was waiting, and dashed back off to church. 

I slowly tried to launder the clothes in her laundry sink.  After getting it all out to the best of my ability, I put them in the drier and sat down in the floor.  I resembled a patient at a doctor's office...almost completely naked.  Only I had an almost completely naked baby getting into everything.  Christmas ornaments, bags of noodles, boxes of splenda (this was also a pantry area).  I finally sat down with some canning jar rings and started spinning them on the tile floor to amuse him.  He really enjoyed that.  I felt very melancholy.

I stared at the shelves of canned greenbeans and tomatoes and I felt like weeping.  I did get some tears in my eyes, wanting my mom.  My mom always canned (and still does) and it just made me miss her so much.  I looked around at all the things that reminded me of mom and just got sadder and sadder.  Finally, our clothes were dry and we got dressed and headed back to the church.  Will seemed fine.

I walked into the church in time to hear the sermon.  It was a good sermon and I enjoyed it.  Will was still doing fine so I decided to try and go to the church picnic.  With potato salad in tow, along with three fiesty kids, I was off to the lake.  The lake was about 11 miles away and my brakes were starting to grind a lot when I applied them.  Lovely.

Got to the lake and spent about half hour eating and socializing when a really nice lady approached me and whispered, "Alice, do you know that the whole seat of your pants is ripped completely out?" 

Ummmmm......no.

No I didn't realize that.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I could have curled up in a ball and died right there in the picnic shelter.  Everything got real fuzzy and I couldn't think straight.  What does this mean?  Yes...it means that I had entered the church, exited the church, and spent the first half hour of the picnic wandering around with my lovely blue panties with polka dots hanging out for all to see in my congregation.  Just freaking lovely.

You see, when I was putting my slacks back on at Patricia's house, I felt my big toe entangle around a thread.  I didn't think much about it, and simply pulled the thread out and continued to get dressed.  Apparently, this thread was the only thing between my ass and the general public.

What to do?  No one seemed to have a sewing kit.  Not even a roll of damned duct tape.  Finally, a lovely teenage girl offered me a baby blue sweatshirt to tie around my waist.  Baby blue sweatshirts look fabulous with black slacks and black blouses that have been puked on previously by a toddler.  Yes, I was looking great and feeling fine. 

Despite how horrific the whole incident seems, the picnic was fairly good and I enjoyed myself.  I was standing with Patricia and talking with another lady when I finally just started crying.  See, my mom and dad recently bought a camp and they stay there a lot.  They brag that it's in the land of "no bars," meaning there is no cell phone reception there.  I am not able to just pick up the phone like I used to do and call her when I feel like it.  And it really upsets me sometimes.  Sometimes, it is like she has died.  I know that sounds absurd, but have you ever had someone you really love die and you forget sometimes?  You think, "wow I am going to call grandma and tell her...." then you realize....she's gone.  You cannot call.  It's kind of like that.  I have something I want to tell her and I want to just pick up the phone like I always have and call...but I can't. 

It's not quite as serious as death, but it's like she's gone most of the time and I'm not used to that.  We live 1 1/2 hours away from each other, so it isn't like we saw each other all the time.  But I really miss talking to her on the phone.  And standing there with Patricia reminded me of my mom so much and I just started crying like a baby.  Patricia just hugged me, like my mom would do, and said, "honey you can call me anytime you want."  As nice as Patricia is...she isn't my mom.  She's someone else's.

Oh well...I have no room to whine and moan.  I have a mom and I am grateful.  She isn't dead and I do talk to her when she is able to get to a phone. 

Anyway....the picnic was followed up with vespers.  The new pastor and a couple of others played guitars and we sang familiar songs.  My favorite was "Amazing Grace" and "Country Roads."

We finally left and limped home in my van that is having severe brake problems.  Tomorrow will be a day sitting at a garage...I just know it. 

Hope you all had a good weekend. 

 

 

 

Oh, Alice, your day sounded so horrible...when you were talking about your thread being the only thing between the church members and your hiney, well, hee. You put a funny spin on that, though you must've been mortified!! I understand about feeling like your mom has died, or is neglecting you when you need her most, because you can reach her all the time.

I mean "Can't", NOT "can". /sigh Amazing the difference one letter makes...

Ohhhh Alice!! My gosh, what a rough and horrible day.

Wow! I think I would have been crying too. The vomit part was bad enough, but to have everyone see your undies? Oh no! I think I would have died (I have multicolored kitties on my undies)

You poor thing. I hope your week will be a little easier for you. You deserve a huge chunk of anything chocolate, so go ahead, you deserve it.

Thanks ladies. Today was a much better day! This too shall pass, right?

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